Husband Buys Crotch Rocket In Desperate Attempt To Keep Up With WifePosted: August 6, 2009
This is Em Alicia reporting from Augusta, GA where a local area man, who previously thought of himself as the cruiser type, goes to the nearest motorcycle dealership and trades in his 2009 Kawasaki Vulcan 900 SE he had just acquired in January of this year and his wife’s 2008 Harley Davidson Sportster 1200 Low to get his sweaty hands on ‘something bigger’ to keep up with his spouse of 13 years who rides a 2009 Suzuki GSX1300R Hayabusa.
The husband declares, with a slight shrug, that his wife has turned into a speed demon and if he ever wanted to see her again he would have to go to extreme measures. After the trade, he finds himself the proud owner of a 2009 Kawasaki Concours 14, which, as industry insiders tell me, is based on the power plant of Kawasaki’s Ninja ZX-14, retooled with a shaft drive and added amenities for the long distance tourer, but is still just a ‘crotch rocket’ with hard bags standard.
The wife is fairly happy at her spouse’s move as she is not ‘held back by his slow ass on the interstate anymore’. Sources tell us that he also ‘quit cornering like gramps’ and put some style back into his riding. Reportedly, the wife is not embarrassed to be seen riding with her husband any longer, and peace has returned to the household while the family car, a Toyota Prius, sits in the driveway untouched since this story began.
The same undisclosed sources also inform us that the speed limit has not been observed by the husband who formerly scolded his wife for going way too fast on her Hayabusa. It looks to us as if the husband’s male ego needed to compensate for the previous lack of power and top end speed. This story, again, shows that even though men like their women fast won’t admit it until they have a way to keep up.
We will report back to see what happens after the husband gets out of his break-in period which carries a hefty restriction to 4000 RPM for the first 500 miles. The local cop shop is no doubt looking forward to that time, since two-for-the-price-of-one ticket writing is efficient, saves the tax payer money and will ensure that the city of Augusta will not go into bankruptcy any time soon as long as the local crotch rocket jockeys are doing their civic duty.