First Thoughts on Becoming an Official Fastass

The 200-MPH Club: What do you mean there are rules?!?
I’m bored at work, it’s Super Bowl Sunday, which I couldn’t care less about and I feel like something new… I’m tired of the same old stuff, I need something fresh on my brain, but it has to be information that will be useful to me at some point in the future… let’s see here… oh, yeah: Land Speed Racing. Let’s grab the rulebook and get comfy, because joining the 200-MPH Club is on my New Year’s Resolutions List. I need to know what’s involved so I can plan my strategy. Not that this is going to happen this year anyway (so much for that resolution), hubby blew all our money getting me a date with Kevin Schwantz as my birthday present this year.

Apparently there is more to joining the 200-MPH Club than finding myself a long stretch of asphalt, rip it open until I get to the required minimum forward velocity, slow my ass back down and slap a sticker on my bike. Dream on, sista! I suppose I could do that, but I want something official; I need a time slip. Then I thought I’d get the entire mile to do it in. Wrong! Your speed is measured and the time slip printed at the ¼-mile mark. Now that small, but important, detail is bound to make things interesting. Here I thought I could take my sweet-ass time to get it “up there”. Not! I see a lot of practice of full-throttle quick starts with impeccably timed upshifts and excessive rear tire usage in my future. Ugh! Not to mention trying to keep that front wheel on the ground. But oh, what fun to be able to rip through the whole sequence without having to worry about the cops bustin’ your chops at the next red light. But I never had to do it ‘as fast as I possibly could’, I just made sure I kept my front end down and was faster than everybody else, which isn’t really all that difficult to do when you’re the only 120-pound chica on a ‘Busa. The weight differential alone gives me an edge. 😉 This changes things also. A whole new level of difficulty… one which I think requires massive amounts of practice on my part. Time to work towards that goal when the rear rubber nears the end of its useful lifespan in a deserted parking lot somewhere. See if I can’t at least practice rippin’ it from a dead stop before I even go to the drag strip. I’m kind of nervous about going there, since I’ve never been and I don’t want to embarrass myself. When you’re a girl on a Hayabusa, you can bet your sweet ass that everybody and their damn dog will be watching your every move, to see if that silly girl’s got what it takes to play with the big dawgs and if she even deserves to own a ‘Busa, let alone ride one. I’m going to be prepared. Because that is how I roll. I rather lose it in a deserted parking lot without an audience other than my hubby, then at grudge racing night at the local drag strip. Do NOT want!

And here I thought going extremely fast in a straight line is boring. Well, I used to think that. I used to say that going fast in a straight line is something any idiot who can manage to get his ass out of first gear (without the bike walking out from under him) can do. The damned thing pretty much rides itself as long as you don’t want to change direction. I have, however, changed my mind on the ‘boring’ part. I’m a speed freak, I love going fast, although I enjoy the dance on curvy roads much more. It’s a different animal. I need my speed/acceleration fix. And the only way I can get that (safely and to the extreme) is in Land Speed Racing. And now that I know there’s actually a healthy amount of riding skill involved it has become a challenge. I like challenges. Where do I sign up?

Joining The Club: A Nightmare In Logistics
I have the bike that’ll do it, pretty much stock with a few tweaks. Now I need to ramp up the safety factor and get the Popo off my tail. Aside from an empty parking lot for some initial practice, I need a place to work on the whole sequence. Not the top-speed issue, but more the technique required getting there. We have a drag strip not too far from here, in Jackson, SC: The House of Hook. They’ve got something going on Thursdays. Hubby works on Thursdays, I work every other Thursday. I don’t want to go by myself, so I’ll either have to get over going alone or find somebody who’s willing to go with me. I can’t really ask Manx to take off every other Thursday just so I can feed my speedy dream of fastass grandeur, besides I’ll need the money he’s hauling in on that day. That turbo charger doesn’t buy itself… j/k =D

It seems to follow that after practice on the ¼-mile drag strip, I’ll reach a point where I’ll have to play in the actual arena, the place where my 200-mph attempt will be made. The closest facility for Speed Trials seems to be the ECTA’s (East Coast Timing Association) Maxton Mile in Maxton, NC; a 424-mile round trip for me. Yeah, this is already looking to be one hell of an expensive proposition and I haven’t even started considering the cost in tires, parts, and whatnots. * sigh * But I suppose that’s why they’re called dreams. If it would be easy, we would never experience that deep satisfaction we derive from beating a challenge and it would mean so much less. Maybe I should just do it my unofficial way, it’d be a lot cheaper (even after bribing the Popo out of the inevitable ticket) if I just show everybody my GPSr while pointing to the ‘Max Speed’ field in the corner.

The Class Of Fast
A precursory scan through the ECTA’s 2008 (the only free one I could get my hands on before having to leave for work) rulebook reveals we have three main classes motorcycles can compete in: Production, Modified, and Altered. Production sounds cheap; that’s the one I’m going to probably go with, since I’ll be spending all my money on tires and traveling. So let’s focus on that.

Upon closer inspection of the rules, my gear meets the standards set for the 175mph+ trials and The Fat Lady is pretty much good to go on all requirements, except:

  • I’ll have to run the stock foot rests. Bummer.
  • I also need to run the stock windshield, since modification of shape is not allowed in the Production class, which my Double Bubble clearly violates. Further, I’m also not entirely convinced that the Zero Gravity windscreen is actually shatter-resistant (another requirement), chances are it’s not.
  • The OEM triple tree clamp has to be put back on, too; which means I would have to run the front at stock height. They don’t mention requirements for the rear, so I do not know if those Brock’s lowering links are in violation or not. However, the rules do mention ground clearance: “OEM Specification for minimum ground clearance must be met.” I need to look into this, too.

The only other modifications required are safety related, such as safety-wiring certain parts, getting a metal chain guard and battery holder, removing the mirrors and passenger pegs, adding an ignition kill-switch lanyard, and disconnecting and taping the headlamp. No biggie, there.

I’m still confused about which CC class I would be running in, they have a 1000CC and 1350CC class listed. The Gen 2 Hayabusa has 1340CCs. I would assume that’s considered part of the 1350CC class, but the rules read ambiguous to me. “Displacement must be greater than the maximum allowable for the next lower class.” Seems that by letter of the law, I’d actually be in the 1000CC class, but that seems unreasonable to me. I need to get confirmation on that from the ECTA, since nowhere in the rules does it state a CC range within a class, which is clearly indicated by that statement. However, it would be sweet to be stuffed into the 1000CC class, since the record there is lower. LOL

I would have to hold off on that Brock’s full exhaust system since that would definitely move me into the Modified Production class, without an easy way to revert to stock; however, I could keep my stinking rearsets and my new top triple tree clamp installed and my suspension setup intact. The record to beat in the Modified Production class (M/G-1350/4) I then would find myself in is 185.490. No way, that can’t be right, can it? Set way back in ’04? The record for the M/F-1350/4 class stands at 203.438, set in June ‘09. The only difference between the two classes would be the fuel used. The G-class uses event gasoline. Well… I have to think on that some. I have more questions to ask the peeps of the ECTA to get the necessary clarification in order to make up my mind in which class to do my Record Trials in. I have all my stock parts, so prepping the bike to stay in one class over another is not a big deal, as it stands now.

The records for the two Production classes, according the ECTA website are as follows:

  • P/P-1350/4: 202.465 set by Marc DeLuca in October 2005.
  • P/P-1000/4: 190.464 set by Marc DeLuca in October 2007.

The classes are designated by a string of numbers and letters, as such: [Frame Class/Engine Class-Displacement Class/Engine Cycles], the Fat Lady’s class then would be P/P-1350/4 or P/P-1000/4, depending whether they round up or down. Soooo, in either case, Marc DeLuca is the man to beat if I also want to get my name on the books in addition to joining the 200-MPH Club, which in the 1000CC category would happen concurrently. I want to be in THAT class… would make things a lot easier. 😉 Marc, hang on to your testies, because you’re gonna (eventually) get spanked by a girl. =D I now have an outline of a plan and over a year to see it through and work out all the juicy details. I feel the need for ticket-free speed (and for being the fastest girl at the Maxton Mile * giggles *)


7 Comments on “First Thoughts on Becoming an Official Fastass”

  1. Wanderlust says:

    Actually my first thought when I saw The Fat Lady’s pix was, “where’s the Mr. Turbo Stage III?” lol…

    Besides, if you’re gonna dream, don’t stop at Maxton: you know Bonneville’s callin’ ya. I’m assuming you saw the movie, “The World’s Fastest Indian”. I lived in that town (Invercargill, New Zealand) where the guy was from, for just about five years. BTW people there really *are* like that.

    I have this dream of turbocharging the Connie. I figure the Mr. Turbo guys should be able to advise me on adapting a Stage I kit for ZX-14 onto the Connie, assuming I can find a local shop after I move which would do the install properly. I want to graft on a two can exhaust (Muzzys?) as well.

    Tell Manx there is no GiPro X-TRE for the Connie because of CANbus. I’ll get the ATRE and SpeedoHealer and let you guys know how that goes. BTW you might want to get the X-TRE for The Fat Lady because it removes the electronic speed limiter on the Busa, if you don’t already have it mapped with Power Commander.

    Your quest for speed should be greatly helped by your small size. Who knows, you might end up being the Danica Patrick of motorcycling 😉

    • MissBusa says:

      The Salt Flats? Yeah, that would have to be one of those vacation type deals, just to say: “Been there done that!” And yes, I saw that movie… gonna buy it, I loved that thing. I think that dude was awesomely cantankerous with his neighbors. What curmudgeon, him and me would have burned that freakin’ grass down together. Hahaha….

      I was going to tell you about the X-TRE thing for the Connie, however I didn’t have my facts straight enough, so I was gonna do some research… needless to say I forgot about it. 😦 I think the SpeedoHealer was the way to go for the Connie, but there was something else to it…. I still can’t remember and I’m not sure the ATRE was it or maybe… dang, I’m such great help, really. *blushes*

      An X-TRE for The Fat Lady? Check. The Fat Lady’s secret (we don’t even know if it works yet, although during the initializion of the dash panel, it says that it is). Only one way to really find out. =D

      The Fat Lady's Got A Secret

  2. Wanderlust says:

    X-TRE and the ATRE are the same thingy, except the ATRE comes with the gear light indicator (which your Busa won’t need). From memory, there are three or four settings for the unit, where you can go from stock to “fooling” the ECU into thinking it is in fourth or fifth gear (or sixth, for the Connie), and a setting to match up with a mapping system such as Power Commander if you have one. Each setting progressively eliminates timing retardation without screwing up idle, and without having to remove the butterfly valves off the throttle bodies (which will also make idling rough). Plus, when you get the bike serviced, you can set it back to stock with the push of a button.

    HealTech suggests you play with the settings to get your own feel.

    Good thing about ATRE for the Connie is that you don’t have to go into mapping unless you really want to. I did quite a bit of reading on this (yes, I am interested in practically everything mechanical, from motorcycles to arcane aviation stuff, having worked in procurement on RAH-66 some years ago) and found out that if you ignore the timing retardation issue, you can get into a lot of effort with fuel mapping but still have the weak power problem in the lower gears.

    Burt Munro really was, and is, a legend in Invercargill. I knew people who were extras in the movie when it was filmed. Of course, I’ve driven on Oreti Beach, and believe me, it’s *not* flat like the movie depicted. I got my pudgy assed Toyota minivan up to 75mph on that beach a few times and had to ride right on the water’s edge to keep from hitting water runoff ruts in the sand. Still, give a Kiwi some #8 wire and a few tools, and he can come up with practically anything.

    One favorite thing about the Connie is the looks I get when I roll past 600 class bikes who look at the panniers and assume I’m riding an old fart’s bike. Kids…

    • MissBusa says:

      ROFL ~> “One favorite thing about the Connie is the looks I get when I roll past 600 class bikes who look at the panniers and assume I’m riding an old fart’s bike.” <~ That right there is priceless. Do keep the luggage on (preferably with a nice huge Givi top case) when you smoke their asses like they're sitting still… old fart this! Hahahaha….. I can see it now. Young punks. =D

      I rode hubby's Connie… I pulled out of the parking lot and missed the left turn (didn't want to lean that beast) so I ended up going straight across, after I got up to speed I was fine, but that is a MONSTER of a bike. I can barely tippy-toe it and I have to actually pick my foot up and tuck it under the shifter (yes the heel leaves the peg) and yank it, since I don't have leverage… I can barely reach the stock levers either, I have to rotate my hands slightly around the grips so my fingertips can get some purchase (makes it interesting on the throttle side LOL)… and to think that bike was on my short-list. It's all so different when you're sitting on it on at the motorcycle show. Good gawd! The Connie was made for a bear of a man. Hubby loves it stock ergos, just as is (he is a bear of a man). I can't handle it securely unless he'd lower it and change the foot rests and levers out (then I would take it through some twisties and show him how it's done =P). But why bother, it fits him (and he hates riding the 'Busa, gives him neck cramps, he's too tall and his arms are too short). But after being on the 'Busa for so long, everything else I've had the opportunity to ride just feels 'weak' by comparison.

      As far as the X-TRE: The one for the 'Busa has three settings: 4,5,6 for different model Suzuki bikes, the 'Busa and the GSXR1000 use #5, B-King uses 6. I've tried it on 6 (inadvertently during the first test ride) and then noticed my settings hadn't taken (I probably screwed something up in the sequence to set it properly, but then changed it to 5) I didn't notice any difference, other than on 5, throttle action seemed a bit smoother, but it was so minute, I chalked that up to being 'all in my head', because I couldn't make up my mind whether or not I was imagining that. LOL I really got it for no other reason than principle. Don't clip the wings on my falcon just because you think we can't handle it. We can kill ourselves on that monster with or without the limiter, the extra 10mph ain't going to make a diff in the big picture. Bunch of political BS, I tell ya. But now that I have LSR aspirations, it's actually going to be essential. =D

      Here's what I wrote about it when I installed it and after my test ride: "I can't honestly say that I feel the 'smoother throttle response in gears 1-3' and the extra 12HP this thing's supposed to give her. I thought it was diff, but had I noticed if hubby would have snuck the box on my bike w/o telling me? Probably not."

      So I'm still not sure whether that was due to pure expectation or it was actual. But who cares it didn't make anything worse… sooo, I still haven't been fast enough to test if it actually got rid of the limiter or not.

  3. Wanderlust says:

    I’m 5’11”, 200lbs, and riding a sportbike regularly would play hell with my back and neck, so the Connie fits me fine. BTW I’m on the north side of 44, look 38, and [sometimes] act 18. And I do enjoy the Connie’s ergos for the most part.

    Today I’m pissed because I got a second speed cam ticket (mobile camera), I’m going to have to fight it, and I’m leaving town in a week and a half. Fines for each ticket as stated are $234. Victoria has a reputation for being the speed camera capital of the world. GRRRRRRR…

    To make it worse, you don’t get the freakin’ ticket until 14 days after the infraction, which is why I got the second one from the same location.

    Mood: PISSED.

    • MissBusa says:

      Those things suck. I got massive amounts of speeding tickets while I was still living in Germany. I know exactly how that crap goes down. The two years I was driving over there (I left when I was 21)… I’ve lived in the States for a little over 17 years and got pulled over three times. 1x in my sleek little Acura Integra and twice on the ‘Busa. One warning, one 30-minute bike chat, and one dismissed ticket later, I’m still citation free. Those cameras are hell… and they’re starting that crap here now, too. Bleh!!!! I feel ya.

      EDIT: The second one wasn’t a warning… not officially, he just told me to take it out of town and not to pull over next time I see the flashy-flashies in my mirrors. Rocket motocop stuck on a hog, poor dude was green with envy, his wife made him get rid of his GSXR-1000, yeah the kinda info you get in 30 minutes from a hot cop in tight slacks riding a Harley that only does 102 (according to him). 😉

  4. Wanderlust says:

    LOL the Harley bike cop reminds me of a time when I broke down on I-10 near Causeway (Jefferson, LA) driving a Honda Civic I was considering buying for my then girlfriend, and a tie rod gave way at 60mph. I ended up chatting with a Causeway cop, female, for over an hour while waiting for a tow truck. In an hour’s time, I learned in considerable detail how her co-workers treated her (like a Barbie doll) and how she was upset with her hubby because he did not support her decision to become a cop. I’ll admit it was all I could do to not ask her for her number…sigh 😉


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