Anal Retentive FailurePosted: May 21, 2010
I roll into work, I’m a little early, so I shoot it with D. before my shift officially starts. Since I can’t use my new BMW Airflow 2 riding pants as over pants, I have to take my work bottoms in my backpack and put them on at the office. This particular morning I was running a little later than I’d like, so I just grabbed the first pair I could get my hands on and stuffed them into my backpack. At work, I take said bottoms and go into the electrical room to change. Routine. After changing into my jeans, I return to the office and sit on the floor to put on my Skechers I keep in my locker. D.’s faced away from me busy with in-processing a truck and I’m sitting on the floor behind him, facing the same direction. I vaguely remember thinking to myself that I must be bloated because the jeans fit a little tight around the thighs and tummy. I stand back up and do a few squats to loosen up my legs from the ride, by the time I get down to #3 I hear an awesomely loud “Rrrrrriiiiiiiiiip!!!!” and I freeze, half-squatted, with what feels like most of my ass hanging out of the back of what once was a pair of Bongos. Fuck! Wardrobe malfunction!!!!I think to myself that I am awfully glad for three things at this precise moment: a> the noise of the running Caterpillar diesel engine outside the window, b> D. facing away from me, and c> my ass facing the OPPOSITE direction. I slowly stand back up and loudly proclaim: “Oh, shit! I’ll be right back.” And with those words I quickly snatch my riding pants off the desk and slink back into the electrical room. I text hubby: “Can you bring me a pair of jeans on your way to work? I blew the ass out of this one.” I spend half the day working in my riding pants. Then hubby brought me a pair of replacement bottoms. Back into the electrical room for another wardrobe change. This pair is also tight as hell around the thighs and ass. WTF?!? I’m down to 119 and I’m too fat for my pants??? Gawd, now my day is really shot!
What has that to do with motorcycling?!? I tell you what. It seems that all that hanging off practice, riding 2K miles while paying very close attention to using my legs, thighs and core muscles predominantly, and trying to build some strength in my lower body to get ready for Barber has gained me some muscles in the thighs and ass. And that’s what.
Moral of the story is clear: Hanging off leads to hanging out.
One more reason NOT to ride in jeans!
One more reason NOT to do squats in the office!