Why Race It If You Can Roll It?

Suzuki GSX-R600 (BMP)

Miss Busa rocking "The Wedding Cake"

What is so damn important about racing that I spent most every waking minute thinking about it? And it’s worse than just thinking about it, everything I do anymore is in line with racing. Before, I modded mainly for bling. Well, I have to amend that statement, since I have never just put something on my bike for looks alone, but it had to add functionality or performance in addition to just looking good. If it was ugly, it wouldn’t go on my bike no matter the benefit. During research, if two parts were essentially the same in any other aspect, I would spend more to get the part that looked better. However, the main reason I would want to add something was to make my bike look different and stand out from the crowd. That seemed to have changed. Everything I do to my bike now has an additional underlying condition, before it is approved and the order button is clicked: Is this going to put me in a different class? How is this going to affect the overall performance? How is it going to affect my riding?

I tweet about motorcycles. I talk about them, my life has become centered around them. My living room currently reeks of gasoline, and a lot of the time it looks like a garage with tools and parts laying around everywhere. I write about motorcycles and ever since I’ve decided that I don’t care about the remainder of my bike’s warranty, I openly blog about wanting to race it.

When did my thought process change from just wanting to be the best street rider that I could possibly be to wanting to be a racer? I really have no idea. Maybe it is some subconscious attempt to prove to myself that indeed I have found something (finally) that I’m not just mediocre at. Something that has always been bugging me, all my life. I am mediocre in a lot of things (and I mean a LOT of things), but excel at none. I always envied people with talent. Musicians, artists, dancers, singers, strippers,… I had a lot of friends who had “their one thing” that they made look like it came so easily to them, with hardly any effort. Truth be known, that’s probably all they spent their mental focus on, even when they weren’t outwardly engaged in their craft.

Is racing some sort of measurement for me? A way to find where I stand in my development as a rider? Is it the scientific experiment that will prove some sort of hypothesis of mine and turn it into theory and hopefully, with repeated reproduction will become fact? Maybe. I have always wanted to know where I stand with things. I need to know; I suppose that is part of my competitive nature. I really don’t know why, maybe it is to ease my insecurities or maybe it’s an attempt at shock therapy. Get out there, be visible, get all that unwanted attention (whether it be good or bad) and prove that you can cope and won’t drop dead from it.

It’s definitely not for the money (that’s a laugh there) and it isn’t for the fame (yeah, that’s another good one), and it isn’t because I’m being pushed in that direction, although Mr. Slow has prevented me from quitting twice already, telling me in no uncertain terms that this is a team venture and it would be selfish of me, not to mention that he knows better, I wouldn’t really want to quit. He is spot on right, I suppose he knows me better than I know myself in a lot of ways.

I do not have high aspirations either, nor any expectations aside from that one minor detail: I don’t want to get lapped EVER and I would like to not come in DFL. However, I could probably live with the latter, since someone has got to play that position, but I’d rather it not be me. Seriously.

Comes to thinking about it, I do better when I don’t have any people around me on the track. I have a tendency to want to focus on the bikes in front of me rather than my reference markers, and I get slightly annoyed when someone’s way too slow for my tastes and I can’t get an opportunity to pass and make them eat my dust. So, what does she do? She wants to go racing… yeah.

I really don’t get it. I thought about sticking to just track days, but it doesn’t seem enough. It doesn’t scratch that weird itch I have developed. That rash that requires the kind of medicine that drains the bank accounts and leaves not much for anything else. But I seem to be cool with that.

Maybe I have finally realized that my lack of talent isn’t due to me not being blessed with one; that maybe it is due to my getting bored fairly easily with stuff and moving on to “the next thing” when I have reached a certain degree of sufficiency. When growing up I drove my Dad crazy with this tendency. Every time I asked him to let me join some club or wanted him to buy me this or that, he just threw his arms up and reprimanded: “Mädchen, Du fängst alles mögliche an und machst überhaupt nichts fertig!” (“Girl, you start all sorts of things and finish none of them.”) But eventually he succumbed to my insistent begging and pleading and I got what I wanted and end up doing exactly what he was afraid of: not sticking with it past mediocrity.

Maybe the answer will come to me when I’m sitting on the pre-grid with Mr. Slow holding the bucket for me. That’s right. I won’t be needing an umbrella girl, I need a bucket dude. =D


6 Comments on “Why Race It If You Can Roll It?”

  1. It’s so refreshing to read this! Phew, I’m not the only one. To be mediocre at most everything I do, AND to be so horribly addicted to racing that my entire world revolves around motorcycles.

    I also admire your attempt to explain or understand it. I thought it was just fun. Not fun in the sense that lollipops and dancing is fun, but fun that while you’re in that seat, you know where you belong. Everything makes sense. Everything has a reason, a purpose, and if it doesn’t, it will be removed next pit. It’s the only time I feel complete. At speed, on a bike.

    • MissBusa says:

      So, I’m not freaking weird and off my rocker after all?!? Phew! *sighs with relief* I think I’ve done drove everybody around me to the brink of sticking their fingers in their ears and loudly proclaiming: “Nee nee nee nee nee. I caaannnn’t hear yooouu… nee nee nee!”

      Again, you are so right! I feel the same way. When I’m on the bike, I feel complete. I feel in control. At that moment I am on top of the world, all doubt, worry, stress left behind (in the pit… hell, I’m even happy in the pit. LOL). I am the master (mistress?) of my destiny. Come what may, if I wad myself up, I have nobody to blame but myself. I dictate the outcome of any situation, whether I was the cause or someone else.

      And damn it! If you screw up badly and pull yourself out of it, still rubber side down and already hard on the gas again, while you’re doing the mental equivalent of wiping your ass but already focused on the next corner… yelling “Weeeeeeeeee… that was fun!” There’s just nothing like it. It makes one feel alive. Nothing quite like it! And dare I say it, it’s better than sex. =D

  2. Dandooligan says:

    LOL!

    I’ve said that before as well, and the other people in the conversation say that I just haven’t had very good sex. Well, I’m not sure how much better it can get, really… I mean, if the euphoria goes any higher, in either case, I’m sure I’m gonna die or something…. What happens after one looses themselves because of the elation during an act?

    Yea, I get it. Keep after it lady!

    • MissBusa says:

      Hahahaha…. that’s exactly the response I have gotten, too! They just haven’t had a good hard, fast, and smooth ride! That’s what my response is. Maybe I’ll design myself a shirt: “If you still think sex is better, you’re not riding fast enough.” ;P

      I am keeping after it. I’m assuming you are doing the same. LOL If we ever meet at the same track, you and @MsXXFastRR and me… I think the world is going to be in trouble. 😉

      • I love that shirt design. I’d buy one! yea, it would be a lot of fun to all get together at a track! I’m gonna be at the Dragon beginning August, 2011 if that provides an opportunity?

        • MissBusa says:

          It might, all depends on whether or not I have to work. The Dragon is about 160some miles from my house, so it’s totally doable. But my street riding has become pretty mellow. I guess racing school killed most of my inner squid. LOL Which is probably an all around good thing.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s