Let Those Without Squid…

…give me some riding lessons!

From the looks of it, I apparently need them desperately. And the day when Rosie O’Donnell is thin enough to wear a size 0 would be the day that I give a hoot the size of the average contact patch about the advice of people who obviously are lacking the faculties to do just that: give valid and constructive input.

I really don’t understand why people insist on criticizing others, spewing their stupidity online, when it is painfully clear that the originator is just some douche who doesn’t know their gyroscopic precession from their Poinsot’s construction.

As far as my riding skill development goes, I leave that in the capable hands of people who could teach you douche bags a few tricks of how to keep your insurance premiums (and by extend, mine) to a minimum:

Kevin Schwantz, Ed Bargy, Keith Code, Lee Parks, …

You get the picture. Now go get your permit renewed and drag your wife by her hair into the kitchen to make you some pie, because apparently that’s what cavemen do.

Until such time when I meet you on a track and use you as my “that is NOT quite the race line” visual aid and watch you wad it up before you even finish lap three (and I’m being generous in that assumption), we are done here!

Note to all new riders:

Please don’t listen to all the misinformation that is floating around online, the nonsense that is sometimes heard at track days, and the stupidity being spread about at bike nights. Do yourself a huge favor, take some kind of formal training to get you started on the right track (pun intended), it will boost your confidence, help your skill development, prevent bad habits or help you change some you didn’t know you had; and most importantly, will help you sort through all the BS and know good, constructive advice from the kind that can cost you dearly.

UPDATE: I couldn’t help myself: Exhibit A

Uploader Comments (TraNceDgURL)

Riding like that you might as well just leave it in sixth.
fungusrare 23 hours ago

@fungusrare I normally don’t give douche bag comments that are idiotic in context, are only written to make the author feel better about his short-comings, comments with no constructive input nor validity any second glance. They get deleted and ignored after I had a good laugh. However, in the interest of Darwinian Law and to further have some laughs, please enlighten me as to how you came up with your suggestion of proper gear selection.
TraNceDgURL 13 minutes ago

@fungusrare Further, I would like to state that some people obviously have no sense of humor, didn’t read my video’s remarks, nor have they read my channel’s introduction. If you feel like I have wasted 6:27 minutes of your precious life, I feel sorry for you to have watched the whole thing. Click, click, click… oh! Here we have some footage of an S1000RR doing 190+ in the middle of the night on an interstate. Maybe that’s more your speed, given your suggestion of gear selection.
TraNceDgURL 5 minutes ago

@fungusrare If I wanted skill training from an idiot like yourself who obviously feels that his penis size is a little short of average and is intimidated by a woman who happens to know how to ride, I would probably specifically ask for it. However, I rather leave my training in the capable hands of men who KNOW HOW TO RIDE. Kevin Schwantz? Ed Bargy? Lee Parks? Keith Code? Take your pick. That would be all. Now, go and have your significant other lick your wounds for you.
TraNceDgURL 2 minutes ago

@fungusrare Upon further introspection, please don’t respond to my question. You will just leave yourself open for public humiliation and personal embarrassment and who is going to tend to your emotional scars? Therapy is expensive.
TraNceDgURL 10 seconds ago

7 Comments on “Let Those Without Squid…”

  1. chesshirecat says:

    Oh Jimminy…some poor shlump has opened the door again…testing our MissBusa’s patience for bullshit (you arse, she has none.) I smile when I read her reply, and I wonder why folks try to tell others how to ride while they are on line? HUH? Wait a minute. You mean to tell me they can watch her ass as it slides from one side of the saddle to the other: just what the conditions were at that time to warrant (or not) the reaction of where and how she decides to put her ass in contact with the seat? (I’m talking about Miss Busa’s butt-cam and the on line postings of the “expert” advice givers.) Ahhh well, I’m about out of hamburger meat and chopped liver…go ahead Miss Busa… save me the trip into town…it’s colder than a well diggers ass here today, besides…I’d rather watch yours as it slides from side to side in the squiggilies … I know how gay that sounds. But hey, I’m talking about form here…

    • MissBusa says:

      ROFL!!! I know I shouldn’t post my great dissatisfaction with yet another douche bag’s advice. This time it was: “Riding like that you might as well keep it in sixth gear!”

      Hmmm… well, considering I was on a public road. Considering I was already almost doubling the speed limit. Considering that the road has more pot holes (which seem to also move every six months or so). Considering I hadn’t been there in over six months. Considering it’s a National Forest and the wildlife is abundant.

      I must say, I was already pushing THAT particular envelope a little too far up the risk acceptance ramp. *sigh* They don’t learn, do they? And I never hit sixth. I think I was in third…

      *hands you the chopped liver* Sorry, they were all outta meat on Hamburger Hill. 😉 But, I’m sure you got some onions, right? *giggles*

  2. Dandooligan says:

    Yes! Good on ya MissBusa! Many people speak out of assumed authority. I always though authority was judged by the audience? Well, I guess when you’re audience is as stupid as the authority it’s just a jumble of ignorance perpetuating itself. Personally, once “person-in-the-know” has lectured me about this and that I usually respond with: “you lecture like I care…”

    • MissBusa says:

      Damn. I need a change of venue then. LOL I’m not even getting a lecture. I just get stupid-ass remarks from douche bags who are too afraid to post their own videos OR maybe it is that they don’t even ride. Because: A> The wifey made them get rid of their R1, CBR1000RR, nononono… it must have been a GSX-R1000 (no doubt a liter bike, because douches love liter bikes!) when the kid they have in their family videos arrived; or B> they wrecked it, and are too scared to get back on; or C> never rode in their life but on the back of their wife’s bike

      Either way, speed does NOT equate to EXPERT riding, neither does gear selection nor does tripling the speed limit on public roads. I’m sure Darwin will sort this out, give evolution some time…

  3. chesshirecat says:

    I just watched the vid… ahhh… you’re riding my kind of ride right there! LOL but of course…I’m not a track racer anymore… that appears like you guys were simply out for some fun…what hell? Why criticize a fricken joy ride? Jimminy Crickets… This kind of ride is for the soul…not for the record books!

    • MissBusa says:

      Exactly. That was Throttle Therapy. I didn’t even wear my leathers, I was in my commuting Harley FXRG gear. Maybe he didn’t like the way I took that 90-degree blind left-hander? Freaking cars use both lanes there ALL the time. Maybe it was the way I turned off at the T-intersection. I was waiting for my friend to catch up, since he had never been down these roads, so he could take the lead again. Teach me to post something. Funny thing is, I had posted that video for him, as well. He’s never had ride videos taken of himself riding. Just like I don’t have any of myself riding. Maybe it was because I didn’t keep up with the Ducati? Apparently some people have ever heard of safe following distance? I wasn’t there to keep up. I was there to have fun. Besides, Mr. Ducati leaves me crying out for my Momma in the twisties. LOL I ride my own ride, as he does his. We eventually catch up with one another. I feel that video is squiddish enough already. Oh well, if I did post a 190+ video or one where I’m dragging knee all around mountain roads, I’d get criticism just the same. Probably even from the same crowd. Can’t win. Not that I would ever post something THAT illegal… what am I? Stupid! LOL The dude has also left negative comments on another “slow” S1000RR vid, so he’s probably just jealous because he doesn’t have one. Hahahahaha…

  4. Dandooligan says:

    Just watched the video. Yea, just silly… It looked like great fun to me… I’ve found most Ducati guys have something to prove though, that might be a part of it.

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