Silly boys! S1000RRs are for girls!

We were having a little fun on the way home from work. I know the haters who like to hang out on YouTube to stir the motion picture shit pot are going to have such a blast over this one, but since when have I ever let that stop me? This is the first video shot with the DroidX by Motorola. Not bad, considering it was dark, and the videographer was also driving. Shame on you, Mr. Cameraman! Hang up and drive, will ya?!? But first… let me let you smoke me off the line, to caress your manly ego and your V8 sensibilities. A few rednecks with NASCAR race numbers plastered on the doors of their pickup trucks have enjoyed the same. Just another service Miss Busa provides. Blip. Blip. Whistle. Wait. Rip.

Fun Fact of Occasion: Flipping somebody off with your right hand and simultaneously maintaining speed only works in “Wild Hogs”. =D


Racing On A Budget

I don’t even know how the subject came about, but we’re tooling down I-20W on our way home from jobs we both hate, in weather we both got screwed by and employers who couldn’t care less. Not like they have to be out here in this crap, being up for over 24 hours doing what we do (respectively). Sucks to have superior driving skills! 😉 But that’s another story and not one for this blog.

After having been able to get in about 3 to 4 hours of sleep in the backseat of the truck, waiting for Mr. Slow to come in from his run, I feel almost human again. The zombie-like feeling that had plagued me for the better part of the morning has finally abated and I had occasion to try out my new goose down ultra-light sleeping bag in 30-degree F weather so I didn’t have to sit there and idle for hours. At least now I know I’m good for track days even when the nightly temps dip into the 30s (and I even get to crack a window for some fresh air). Good to know, especially if I had vegetarian chili recently. =D

Where was I? Oh yeah, the subject of the iPhone came up when Mr. Slow announced that he was going to get me one for my birthday, since I hadn’t told him what I wanted. I replied that I didn’t want one. He gave me a confused look, then brought up that I had been talking about it. I reply that yes, maybe when my BlackBerry gives up its ghost and I am in the market for a replacement.

“How much are those things anyway?” I ask.

“With a 2-year contract, probably a couple hundred bucks. That’s my guess.”

“$200??? Heck with that, you can get a freakin’ minibike for that price!”

“You really want one of those?”

“Hell yeah! You look totally retarded on one and they look like a ton of immature unadulterated fun! They go like 50 miles per hour before performance upgrades and tweaks!”

“Holy shit! Well, then get one of those and that’ll be your birthday present.”

GP RS-R

The GP RS-R: If Miss Busa manages to kill herself, it'll probably be on this thing. 😉 Six days and a wakeup and we're going to have a mini-session in throttle therapy.

A few over-the-hill jokes later we were home and online shopping for a pocket rocket. Besides, granny has to have something appropriate to teach her grandson Shant, the Nubbinator, the fine art of dragging knee when he turns three. With a speed governor, of course, and a remote kill switch. I wonder if they make one-piece racing leathers for three-year olds with little knee pucks and all that…

I think I might race those instead. Hell, with an engine costing about $100 and a set of fairings or slicks around the $35 price point… it’s racing on a mini-budget! I wouldn’t even need a damn sponsor. Hahahaha… Of course, now I have to figure out how to mold & shape fiberglass so I can make the thing look like a baby S1000RR! It is scheduled for delivery on the 18th. w00t!!!


An Acute Case Of The Rocket Crotch

Look at all this roadfaring seafood out here. It must be the Day of the Squid and I was a major participant. Didn’t plan on riding it like a jackass. I was on my way to work, on my day off no less, tooling down the road at speed limit +5, trying to get over being grumpy. This proved a wee bit difficult, however, since I decided to skip real sleep in favor of setting up for the switch back from nights to days. The one time I don’t do my usual thing, the one time I decide to just take a short nap and then get up to work on The Fat Lady so I’ll be nice and sleepy come 9PM… the ONE time… Murphy happens. Murphy. And his asinine law!

5 hours earlier:
My cell rings. It’s a coworker, asking if I could work for her since she was feeling ill and would rather find someone to cover her so she could convalesce. I am her last hope. Here I am, standing in the middle of what probably goes for about $2500 worth of plastics strewn all over my driveway, haven’t had any sleep to speak of, and now have approximately 4.5 hours before I have to badge in and work a 12-hour night. I tell her I don’t know if I can make it due to my present circumstance and that I have no clue how long this is going to take, since it’s my first attempt. She understands, but remains hopeful. I commute to work on my Hayabusa, so I have to get the thing back together before 4:30PM. No sleep for the weary.

I make it. I call her, to let her know and I’m out the door. I close in on the intersection that will dump me onto the ‘Hayabusa Speedway’ (officially known as US-278) with an expedient left turn, and to my delight the light is green, which is a rare occasion. Woohoo! I notice two sport bikes ahead of me in the right lane; they must have been already waiting at the red light. They are ahead of me, leaned into the two-lane turn. The boys are taking it like old coots. I smile. I’m in one of those moods. I get to the turn and I get my lean on and am ready to show them how you ride it like a girl. I’m accelerating out of the turn and pass them in the left lane and get in front of them. I’m back to going speed limit +5, the usual. They decide to pass and haul ass. Whatever, I don’t really care. I have to work on my damn day off. I’m still trying to get my spirits up, since being ticked off isn’t going to change anything, might as well be in a good mood.

A little while later I notice I’m catching up with them yet again. What in the world? I look down at my speedo; yup, still going 60. You have got to be kidding me. They’ve actually slowed down. Oh, well. Whatever floats your boat. I’m going around. Unlike some peeps, I have to be at work, on MY DAY OFF! Just for kicks, I speed up to [an undisclosed number on the dial] to get some distance between them and me and settle back into the less ticket worthy velocity of speed limit +5. Well, hell. They’re right behind me, although the following distance between the two has now increased significantly. Hmmm… Mr. FZ1 passes me and is gone. Hell with this. I’m in need of a little throttle therapy; maybe this’ll turn the frown upside down. I dial it in, don’t even bother to drop a gear, and quickly catch up with Mr. FZ1, but keep a safe distance, and the three of us (I am now in the middle) haul our combined asses up the road to the next red light.

Traffic is getting heavier once we pass Fort Gordon’s main gate, and it’s time for slicing and dicing. Each man (and woman) for him (or her)self. I don’t know how many cagers were pissed off during the making of this entry in the SquidlyPants Chronicles, but I’m sure there were three-digit numbers being dialed frantically on a few cell phones. Calling in a sighting. I pride myself on being able to read traffic patterns and the intentions of cagers around me fairly accurately and therefore stay out of trouble. Knowledge is power. And power is power. I make it to the aforementioned red light first. Ha! The Fat Lady digs this sort of thing and I’m starting to be pretty happy myself. Mr. FZ1 pulls up to the right of me at the line and I have to put it in neutral, flip up my visor and push the pause button on my iPod, because clearly he wants to chat. I turn to him and exclaim with a big grin: “That was fun!” He smiles and nods. “Nice bike.” I point at his silver Yamaha and reply: “Ditto to you.” The light changes and it’s off to the Redneck Races once again.

I stay behind Mr. FZ1 this time, because I just remembered a court date at an as of yet unknown future date and time. I pled not guilty to a High Performance Award and requested a bench trial. Probably wouldn’t look good if I got busted doing the ton while waiting on a court date for a previous infraction. Wouldn’t look good at all. This kind of curbs my enthusiasm, until I find myself on the I-520E ramp. Here we go again. Traffic is hopping this evening and moving along at a cozy 80 in a 55. I like it when the cagers have somewhere pressing to be and get their collective move on. Good, we’re not sticking out too much. Our friendly little race has turned into a high-powered PUG group ride and we’re now moving in unison through traffic. What a hoot! We catch up to another sport biker and now there are four of us.

I have to slow down. I can’t blend in and disappear when LEO decides to take written notice. I’m a chica on a white Hayabusa with a personalized tag. I have cat ears and a tail stuck to my helmet. They know where I live, which is why I could never run; they’ll just meet me at my house and add evasion to the laundry list of traffic violations and I’ll find myself bent over a squad car with my face smashed into the hood by a giant meaty palm and zip-ties around my wrists. No thanks. I slow down to the flow of traffic while getting into the right third of my lane and wave the dude behind me the OK to pass. He takes the opportunity and blows by me, I’m guessing at triplets. They take the next exit, we wave at each other, and I find myself behind the guy we caught up to earlier. He’s now also taking it easy, but we’re still moving about five mile per hour faster than traffic. He also disappears up the next off-ramp. I’m so lonely… oh so lonely. Traffic is light now; it usually is, once you get past this point and I slow down to 60 and cruise my grinning self the rest of the way to my unscheduled work.

I’m a squid! Still a little peeved at having to come in to work on my day off and pretty much ruining the weekend I could have had with hubby, since now we will be on opposing schedules. This falls under emotional riding, which consequently lead to an unwillingness to resist getting caught up in groupthink and turning into a giant squid. Where two or more are gathered in my name a race breaks out. In other words, get a few sport bikes together under favorable conditions and you’ll have mayhem in the streets.

Don’t be a squid.